August 13th, 2005

sly

Any time!

From theatrical_muse: What is your favourite time of day?

Any time no one's shooting at me or planning to make me go somewhere where they're likely to. Any time I'm with Kerril or my friends, taking it easy. Late shifts in safe space when I can read or daydream or nap. That time after a mission when you're tired and happy you survived another one and can savour the feeling it might be a while till the next. After my shift's over and I call Kerril and we meet for a coffee and almost always a cuddle. Playing with Lucy, my kitten, who finds the universe an exciting and fun place.

Any moment that doesn't feel as if it might be my last is a good one!

nervous

Need

From theatrical_muse: What is the one thing about yourself that you don't want anyone to know?

How much I need people. Anything's better than being alone, and I mean anything. I stayed on the Liberator after Blake and Jenna left because even though Dayna and Tarrant despised me, Avon and Cally were still there. And after Cally... well, when it was just Avon and he couldn't stand the sight of me because I was still there and she wasn't, I stayed anyway. Yeah, there were times I wished I had the guts to go, but you know, Tarrant and Dayna'd got used to me by then (well, their insults weren't as mean anyway) and Soolin didn't seem to mind me. All the same, even when I thought life wasn't worth it (things got so bleak that last year I had to medicate myself with Dorian's wine) I'd always choose to go into danger with them than stay by myself in the base. It's wasn't bravery. It was picking the less frightening option.

Once they left me in sole charge of Scorpio. I could've bolted then, but I couldn't make myself. It wasn't the gold, you know, even if that's what they think--part of me couldn't have lived with deserting them, but the rest of me was more scared of being alone than any alternative.

Yeah, sad isn’t it. Don't tell anyone.