February 2nd, 2008

appealing

Seduction

From theatrical_muse: Have you ever seduced someone or has anyone ever seduced you?

I've flirted with people--it's a game I never expect to win--but I've never seriously tried to seduce anyone. See, my self-esteem isn't that healthy anyway, so I prefer not to be the one who makes the move. Just setting yourself up for rejection there.So I just flirt in a joking way in the faint hope that someone may actually show a spark of interest.

As for being seduced, yes!

Masha was the first. It was after a successful job we were both on, and she was so hyped up and excited and impressed with my safe-cracking, she wanted me. And why not? She was beautiful—tiny and lively with long shining straight blonde hair—and she had a wild reputation so I was both flattered and terrified. Only lasted three months in the end--when the novelty went, so did she. I don't think I was as upset as people expected me to be, it was nice to get my independence back, do what I wanted without always thinking about what Masha wanted. Besides, we hadn’t been friends, not what I call friends, someone you could tell anything to, someone who was just happy to be with you and not do anything.

Same with the other girls, both of them, Sal—great sense of humour, Sal--and Klivia, bright girl, but ambitious, wanted to be—and have—a somebody. Nice enough while it lasted, but no tragedy when it ended. Never meant anything, see, not like with Serrin and Doty next door to my mum, skinny little Serrin and big plump Doty who loved each other so much they couldn’t live without each other. Mind you, it'd be frightening to care that much.

And then there was Kerril. She made the move of course. I thought it was because we were about to die, and me the only bloke on the planet and all that, but she said she loved me. Not enough, mind you--she loved her big dream of going back to nature on a new untouched world and living the simple life more than me. She chose it without even thinking, then thought about asking me. Sometimes I regret not going (well, Bayban had a bloody great laser cannon on me at the time) but it's just as well. Not cut out for the pioneer life, me, and I’d have had to live up to what she’d already seen of me, doing what I do best. I'd rather miss her than to see her stop loving me.

Not settling for less next time though.